Crayons and Careers
đź“‹ Drowning in Digital
We shared the other day about boundaries for kids in summer but what about us as parents! Screens are everywhere and they are an amazing and powerful tool but it’s also a habit that we can easily get caught up in and spend to much time on. Working parents are especially vulnerable to digital burnout and overuse. Let’s be honest, we have zoon, teams, slack, texts, parenting apps, pinterest, facebook Instagram, Linkedin, the list is endless. Let’s talk a bit about how we can be empowered to regain control over our digital lives by setting intentional boundaries, at work, at home, and with our families without shame or overwhelm. If your screen time has become your biggest guilt trip, you are not alone and we can find a healthy balance!
🟡 2. The Hidden Cost of Digital Overload
Social media and technology are amazing in its own way. It’s opened up new industries and jobs so there are more job opportunities to work from home or to have a flexible work schedule. Yet, social media creates an immense amount of mental fatigue. On average, a post or information may hold your attention for twelve hours. Posting to stories or tweeting information means it lasts twenty-four hours and then your mind says, well I need to go back and check on the latest story and updates. This creates mental fatigue. At the same time, we have access to so much information about the people around us and it’s curated many times with filters and shows a twenty – thirty second snapshot of their life. It’s easy to forget that with technology, you only see a small snapshot of their life. They likely didn’t show you the meltdown this morning from their toddler as they ran out the door to drop them off at camp or that they realized they didn’t in fact have any tomato sauce in the cupboard when they went to make the dinner they planned, and everyone was hungry! Social media works because it does promote comparison and consumption of information. I won’t say that’s a bad thing because with healthy boundaries it can be a powerful tool, but we do have to realize that all of this comparison and context switching back and forth to see the latest updates create mental fatigue for us and an emotional drain. A few blog posts ago, we talked about how this is one of the biggest burden’s on working parents. How can we use social media or technology as an asset to us or a fun way to connect with others without burning ourselves out and creating mental fatigue!
No “off” switch = 24/7 access = burnout
I didn’t realize this until over a decade into my corporate career but having an expectation to answer an email or a call immediately does not make for a good work environment when that expectation is constant. It’s added stress and it’s less productive. Yes, there are jobs that being on call, like a Doctor, or a linesman, plumbers or dozens of others that truly are critical to have people on call. But why have we let it expand so much into every job and position? Yes, as a parent many times during certain phases in life you are on call but even most jobs that have on call hours limit them during a week or a month.
So what do we do about this, while you may not be able to switch your job environment, or change your habits overnight, there are little steps we can take to give ourselves more efficient and productive environments.
🟢 3. 5 Set Small Boundaries That Actually Work for you
💬 1. The “Check-In Check-Out” Rule
Designate on hours for work notifications and off hours where nothing dings. Did you panic reading this? Yes, I know, if this is your normal habit where you open your phone and scroll emails as soon as you wake up, before you go to bed, every time you park your call etc. This can be hard but it is scientifically less productive to do things this way.
Start by giving yourself regular check-in times with your email. For example, when I open my laptop for the day to start work. I don’t check emails first; I start with a task that needs my undivided focused attention. Maybe it’s creating a report or creating a presentation, but this focused time is extremely productive for me. An hour in, I stop and check my email and spend the next thirty minutes responding and writing emails and then another thirty minutes adjusting if needed any tasks for the day. Then I schedule a few more check in’s throughout the day to review and respond to emails. The game changer for me was turning off notifications, I found that every time I switched to respond to an email, I was distracted. Now, the key is to evaluate what works for you. Maybe you need to keep slack or teams on but you set yourself as busy, so you are less likely to be interrupted. Maybe you need to check emails first but then you dedicate the second hour to uninterrupted work or meetings. Whatever it is, it’s ok to schedule uninterrupted work.
📱 2. One Device-Free Zone in Your Home
Create a space for yourself and your family that allows a break from the phone or technology. Maybe this is as simple as no phones at the dinner table or electronics in the kids bedrooms. Choosing one place that you can be fully unplugged establishes a small boundary where the kids, your spouse and you know that they can have undivided attention. Yes, I get it, it’s easy to break this rule but thirty minutes at the dinner table might give you the break you need!
⏱ 3. The 3-Minute Scroll Reset
Let me start by saying, I’m not saying scrolling is bad! But start by asking yourself first, “Is this serving me or draining me?” Why? Well, I personally love to read, I devoured books as a kid, sometimes one- or two-chapter books in a day! For me, reading is enjoyable but it’s a habit that didn’t exist for probably fifteen years after college. Scrolling is easy but so is reading if I have a book right there and I feel so much more rested after reading for thirty minutes than I do scrolling my phone! How do I make this happen? I start by taking a book out of the library when I take the kids every week and at night and leave it next to the couch where I crash to scroll. I’ve started a habit of asking myself what would serve me best and yes, the reading has won 90% of the time. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t scroll, but I’ve started by giving myself time to scroll when I’m limited. For me, that looks like, I need to pick up my daughter at her sports practice, so if I park and have three minutes, I can scroll then until she is finished. It creates time for me to scroll without letting it eat up huge amounts of time.
📆 4. Schedule a Weekly Digital Reset
Yes, technology is amazing, and we all want to keep up on what is going on, but we all need a dedicated break. This might look like Saturday afternoon, everyone is outside and all phones are left inside for an hour or two! This is a nice re-set but it’s important to also clear the noise! Remember, systems are what makes a business work, so they can help your family life work smoother as well (we will talk about this more later). Schedule a time to clean out your inbox, review your calendar clutter, unfollow accounts on social media that stress you out, delete apps that you don’t use or cause some of that same stress. This isn’t wasted time, if it frees up your mental load, then it’s worth the time and effort to put in!
👩‍👧‍👦 5. Modeling Matters
When we set screen boundaries, our kids see it and learn to model those behaviors themselves! We also free up mental load for ourselves and create sustainable habits. Yes, technology has its place but so do other hobbies and tasks. What would one more hour in a day give you? We all wish for more time but if one hour or even thirty minutes shows your kids that building Legos is just as fun as playing Minecraft and you found thirty minutes twice a week to take a walk around the neighborhood instead of scroll your phone you’ve shown your kids that balance as well as yourself.
🔵 4. Bonus: Digital Tools That Help, Not Hurt
“Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!” We’ve probably all heard this saying but the essence of it is true! Technology is amazing, so use it to help you. There are dozens of tools that can help you limit screen time and help productivity or that focus on using technology mindfully. Here’s a few below you can look into and don’t forget there are dozens more that are similar.
- App Limiters: Screen Time or Digital Wellbeing (iOS/Android)
- Block distractions while working: Freedom or Cold Turkey, Brick your phone
- Declutter your task list: Notion or Trello
- Monitor kids’ tech use mindfully: Google Family Link, Amazon Kids
🟣 5. Final Thoughts: It’s Not About Perfection
Digital decluttering isn’t a one-time purge and overnight overhaul; it’s about building healthy digital habits that you can build on. It’s not about becoming a screen-free minimalist. It’s about becoming more intentional with your time. No one has a perfect life, and we are all learning and adapting as the world changes. Learning to set boundaries is an important life skill and not just with work and people but with technology.
Remember, even one boundary is progress, a walk for ten minutes instead of scrolling is progress, an hour of work time interruptions from emails may have taken you two hours with interruptions before. It’s all about small steps of progress each day!
Leave us your thoughts in the comments!