A system for aligning values with calendar commitments
There’s a quiet struggle many of us carry every week a silent burden that we wish to put down. It’s the tension between the work we have to do and the life we want to live. The meetings, the deadlines, the laundry, the permission slips, the mental tabs left open 24/7 and as we mentioned before it’s many times invisible to those around us.
You’re doing your best. But it often feels like something always falls through the cracks — and it’s usually the things that matter most.
The truth? You don’t need a “perfect” schedule. You need one that reflects your values and helps you live them — not just juggle them. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about choosing your priorities and making progress not striving towards perfection. Let’s dive a little deeper into why you and I both feel like our schedules fail us and what we can do to prevent that.
💭 Why Most Schedules Fail Us
We often build our weeks backwards. We say yes too fast. We overestimate our capacity. We try to squeeze in family time “when we have a moment.” We forget about rest. But why?
My opinion, the hard truth is that the world around us has conditioned us to react to all the external demands instead of designing our lives with intention. I don’t mean that as a punch to the gut, although when I first wrote that out, it felt a bit like one. It’s hard not to react to everything around us. Work has conditioned us to respond immediately, information is constantly available on our phones, and we are reachable pretty much anywhere in the world. Our world is set up that way, so it’s natural that we start to react that way to build our own schedules and lives.
If someone gave you a week away though, where nothing would get behind or fall apart and you could choose to sit down and draw out what you wanted where would you begin to design your life? I bet you’d color outside the lines of where you are today. I bet you’d sit down and pull out your core values and become less focused on building your life around a to do list.
🌟 Step 1: Get Clear on What Matters Most
Dream a little. Yes, the reality as a parent is that the to dos and activities don’t stop but when I truly stop and look at the world through the eye’s of my children they have such a different perspective. They want to have dinner together and swim in the pool this weekend. They want to watch a movie, play in the snow, and have hot chocolate together. I try and step back from this to design a schedule that works for the life I want to be living and not just want we have now. So, if I pack the schedule too tight now, I’m looking to slow it down the next time I sit down.
Start by sitting down by yourself and asking a few questions about this season.
- What do I want to feel this week/month?
- What matters most to me right now in this season?
- What non-negotiables help my work and family thrive?
Your values might include:
- Meaningful work
- Quality family time
- Mental health
- Margin for rest or creativity
Example:
“I value being fully present with my kids at dinner.”
“I want to protect my deep work hours in the morning.”
“I want Fridays to feel relaxed, and family focused.”
This becomes the lens through which you view your week/month. So, when a friend asks to meet up and we would take all the kids to the movies on Friday night, my first initial reaction might have been yes, sounds like fun! If I stop though and think about it, I remember that Friday is our family time and while yes, I can pivot that. What if instead, we see if Saturday works and we keep Friday focused on family. It’s small but what I also realize, Friday night family time in summer makes Saturday easier. Why? The kids are relaxed and so are we. We aren’t overtired from Friday night and in fact we are ahead many times because Friday may be lighter, but I find we all pitch in more around the house because we are together, which makes the weekend lighter. That one small change has a ripple effect.
🧭 Ask Yourself the Right Questions
For some of us dreaming as I mentioned above is easier for others, we like a direct set of guidelines to follow for questions, so let’s talk about some of the questions you can ask yourself. For starters, it can be what does your dream schedule look like and two what currently is not working? Don’t sell yourself short, you may not be able to start this schedule tomorrow or next week, but the idea is how you can choose to start working towards this to eventually get there. Starting in these two areas can help you prioritize the areas that need tweaking in this season. You don’t need to make massive shifts every day.
Other questions you can ask.
- How do I want to feel this week?
Peaceful, accomplished, connected, rested?
- What do I want to protect time for — even if life gets busy?
Family dinners? Workouts? Quiet mornings? Deep work?
- What are the top 3 values I want my schedule to reflect?
(e.g., Presence, Growth, Simplicity, Connection, Creativity)
- What isn’t serving me in my current weekly rhythm?
Overbooked evenings, scattered mornings, reactive scheduling, meal planning schedule falling apart on day 2.
✍️ Turn Values into Time Priorities
I hope you honestly took some time to dream a little and you’ve worked through questions above to write down your values. Yes, I know it may seem silly but putting things on paper is valuable even if you know all of your values already, it’s a good reminder.
The next step it to start to align this with the time blocking exercise and your monthly/weekly rhythms.
Here are some examples but remember these don’t have to be perfect. It’s about putting some small actions together to align with the values you defined. It’s also a great exercise to do with your spouse or older kids!
| Value | Time Priority Examples |
| Presence | Block family time with no phone interruptions. My Friday night example from above, quality over quantity. Remember if you are sitting scrolling your phones during family dinner, it’s probably not serving you the way you want to be present. |
| Personal Growth | For me this looks like taking time to myself. For me, this means I choose times to run errands by myself and I listen to personal development podcasts during that time. It doesn’t have to be an hour a day, it can be an hour a week or whatever works. While you may want to schedule an hour a day, start with fifteen minutes and build as you develop the habit. |
| Rest | Protect one evening or weekend morning for unstructured time. This past weekend, it meant that we relaxed. My husband watched golf while I read my book on the couch next to him. We spent a few hours catching up as a family on errands and projects and then everyone did activities of their choosing in the afternoon. Rest doesn’t have to mean sitting either! For some rest is an afternoon of golf or dinner with friends. Think of it as a break from your normal pattern that you walk away from more energized instead of less. |
| Focus | For some people there is a time of day where they are most productive. As an entrepreneur, I like to create focused time in the morning. I block out two hours where I Create a “no meeting” window for deep work tasks |
| Connection | Add a weekly date night with your spouse or a monthly dinner with friends. |
This step isn’t about perfection it’s about conscious trade-offs. You can’t do everything. But you can design a week that makes room for what’s essential and valuable to you and your family.
🛑 What Happens When You Skip This Step
When we skip this values-based planning, we fall into common traps:
- Filling our days with urgent, but not important, tasks
- Saying yes out of guilt or fear of disappointing others
- Leaving no time for recovery, connection, or joy
- Losing clarity about whether we’re succeeding or just surviving
By starting with your values, you flip the script. Your schedule stops controlling you and you feel like you are thriving not just surviving. Over time your schedule becomes more of a reflection of who you are and what you stand for.
👥 Step 5: Communicate Your Rhythm to Others
Let your family and team in on your weekly rhythm. At this point I encourage you to communicate to others if you haven’t already and practice this! It’s a full sentence so there is no reason to go into more detail if it doesn’t work for you. Don’t be afraid to practice this at home so you can better implement it in the moment.
- “I’m unavailable from 4–6pm because we have family time then.”
- “I’ve blocked out Mondays for focused work, so let’s schedule that meeting for Tuesday”
- Don’t forget that No, is a full sentence. Not every conversation needs to provide full details as to why you are saying no.
Saying no is hard and in certain areas like work, sometimes it will be harder than others. Saying yes though because it fits into your values and you understand your rhythm and the space you have or the space you can create is much easier when you know your values and priorities! This is where using your time blocking skills and Sunday Reset can help because you can honestly say it doesn’t fit in your schedule. (Check out our free download in our Essential Tools!) Remember, small steps add up and you’re working towards creating a schedule that works for you. Boundaries that serve your values, but those boundaries won’t work if they only live in your head and no one else knows about them!
🌱 Final Thoughts
You won’t get it perfect. No one does.
But when you build a schedule that reflects what you actually care about, you begin to live with more peace, more presence, and more purpose.
Start small. Maybe this week, you block out just one hour for something that feeds both your work and your family life. Changes will happen and that’s ok, you don’t need to be so rigid that it stresses you out either! It’s focusing on the small rhythms that support your priorities. Maybe, it’s that one cup of coffee and fifteen minutes of quiet before the kids get up that helps your mornings be less stressful! That one change could ripple in powerful ways.
Leave us your thoughts in the comments!