“How does she do it all?”
If you’ve ever scrolled through social media, seen a mom with a full-time career, a Pinterest-perfect house, and smiling kids in coordinated outfits, you’ve likely asked that question.
It’s a phrase loaded with both admiration, jealousy and quiet self-doubt.
But here’s the truth most of us don’t say out loud….
👉 No one is doing it all.
They’re doing some things well and letting others be good enough or undone. Many are also not doing it alone. They have a team supporting them.
The idea that balance means excelling in every area, all the time, is a myth and it’s perpetuated by the tools we have today. Powerful ones that bring work and new business opportunities for our fingertips as well as distractions and feelings that are allowed to run away and cost us our peace, confidence, and joy.
💭 Where Did the “Do It All” Myth Come From?
This myth didn’t appear out of thin air. It’s rooted in decades of cultural messaging:
- Hustle culture tells us we should always be working toward more.
- Social media shows us everyone’s highlight reel without their behind-the-scenes.
- Perfectionism whispers that if we just tried harder or planned better, we could do it all.
But working parents (especially moms) are under enormous pressure. It’s pressure not only to be productive and present, but also poised, patient, and perpetually available. If you are tired reading this, I am too and it’s not sustainable because it’s not real!
When we try to live up to everyone’s version of balance, we lose sight of our own.
🧭 Balance Is Personal, Not Prescribed
What balance looks like for one family might feel completely out of alignment for another. My kids are heavily involved in sports and some families might put more emphasis on spending time on music or other activities and that’s okay.
For one parent, balance might mean scaling back work hours to be home more.
For another, it might mean investing deeply in a career during a season of growth.
For someone else, it could be outsourcing help, sharing responsibilities, or building rhythms that leave space for rest.
There’s no universal formula, we need to learn to shut off the noise of what others do around us and stop comparing. You are unique and you have your own values and priorities, and this is your season of life.
🧩 Why “Doing It All” Is a Setup for Burnout
When we believe we should be able to do it all, without trade-offs, help, or rest we set ourselves up for:
- Chronic overwhelm
- Guilt for dropping the ball
- Resentment toward our families, jobs, or even ourselves
- Constant comparison that drains confidence
The truth? You can do anything, but not everything and certainly not all at once.
✨ What Balance Can Actually Look Like
Here’s what real-life balance often includes:
✅ Prioritizing what matters most
Not everything is equally urgent or important. Real balance starts by identifying your non-negotiables and letting other things shift around them. Everyone has a season and that can shift and stack habits from previous seasons as well. Maybe when your kids are young you can’t work a full schedule but as they are pre-teens and teenagers you can balance working hours while they are involved in school and sports.
🧘♀️ Letting some things be “good enough”
Maybe dinner is scrambled eggs tonight. Maybe the laundry sits unfolded and your garden bed out front doesn’t get weeded this weekend. Or maybe it means that you have to hire the neighbor kid to mow the lawn and weed the garden and you have a house cleaner come once a month for a deep clean. None of these decisions mean you are failures. In fact, they are smart decisions for the right person and when it aligns with their values.
🤝 Ask for or Hire help
Balance doesn’t mean doing everything yourself. It means resourcing your life through support, boundaries, systems, and sometimes, saying no. I don’t have that money though many will say, well let me ask you this. If you can spend $150 once a month on someone to deep clean your house and because of that you gain five hours back then you can work in your business or take another shift at work. Maybe that means you made money. I used to think that back in the day as well. Then I hired someone to deep clean once a month. It took her three hours on average, but I found that I probably saved ten hours. I didn’t feel as rushed so I found that we weren’t eating out on the run as much. Therefore, I was saving time.
🔄 Allowing it to change with your season
What works in one chapter may not work in the next. Toddlers, teens, big deadlines, health challenges, things will change, which is why it’s important to re-visit your priorities and values in each season. Life is meant to change and being open to that change helps your mindset with knowing you can adjust.
🛠️ Simple Ways to Reclaim Your Version of Balance
Here are a few questions to help you step off the “do it all” hamster wheel:
- What’s currently draining my energy that I could pause, delegate, or delete?
- What’s one small way I can make this week feel more aligned with my values?
- What can I say no to, so I can say yes to what matters most?
🌿 Final Thoughts: You’re Already Enough
Balance isn’t about perfection it’s about intention and taking small actionable steps to make a change towards where you want to be in life.
It’s not a finish line you arrive at; it’s a rhythm you design, one step and one choice at a time.
So the next time you see someone who seems to have it all together, remember:
You’re only seeing part of the story.
You don’t need to do more to be enough.
And your version of balance is valid, beautiful, and completely yours.
Leave us your thoughts in the comments!